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Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It, by Allan Pease, Barbara Pease
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Have you ever wished your partner came with an instruction booklet? This international bestseller is the answer to all the things you've ever wondered about the opposite sex.
For their controversial new book on the differences between the way men and women think and communicate, Barbara and Allan Pease spent three years traveling around the world, collecting the dramatic findings of new research on the brain, investigating evolutionary biology, analyzing psychologists, studying social changes, and annoying the locals.
The result is a sometimes shocking, always illuminating, and frequently hilarious look at where the battle line is drawn between the sexes, why it was drawn, and how to cross it. Read this book and understand--at last!--why men never listen, why women can't read maps, and why learning each other's secrets means you'll never have to say sorry again.
- Sales Rank: #89717 in Books
- Brand: Pease, Barbara/ Pease, Allan
- Published on: 2001-06-19
- Released on: 2001-06-19
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .70" w x 5.16" l, .51 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 272 pages
Amazon.com Review
Ever wonder why women can brush their teeth while walking and talking on various subjects while men generally find this very difficult to do? Why 99 percent of all patents are registered by men? Why stressed women talk? Why so many husbands hate shopping? According to Barbara and Allan Pease, science now confirms that "the way our brains are wired and the hormones pulsing through our bodies are the two factors that largely dictate, long before we are born, how we will think and behave. Our instincts are simply our genes determining how our bodies will behave in given sets of circumstances." That's right: socialization, politics, or upbringing aside, men and women have profound brain differences and are intrinsically inclined to act in distinct--and consequently frustrating--ways.
The premises behind Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps is that all too often, these differences get in the way of fulfilling relationships and that understanding our basic urges can lead to greater self-awareness and improved relations between the sexes. The Peases spent three years researching their book--traveling the globe, talking to experts, and studying the cutting-edge research of ethnologists, psychologists, biologists, and neuroscientists--yet their work does not read a bit like "hard science." In fact, the authors go to considerable lengths to point out that their book is intended to be funny, interesting, and easy to read; in short, this is a book whose primary purpose is to talk about "average men and women, that is, how most men and women behave most of the time, in most situations, and for most of the past."
Why Men Don't Listen, therefore, deals largely in generalizations, and this is bound to alienate some readers. "We don't beat around the bush with suppositions or politically correct clich�s," the Peases claim. Those up for an irreverent and unapologetic take on why men and women just can't help themselves sometimes may just decide to read on. --Svenja Soldovieri
From Publishers Weekly
"To get a man to listen, give him advance notice and provide an agenda," write the husband and wife Peases in this pithy, attention-grabbing guidebook to the differences between men and women. Originally self-published in Australia to wide acclaim, the book weaves together facts from the latest brain research, theories from evolutionary biology and a treasure trove of anecdotal events and conversations collected by the authors during a three-year research trip around the world. Sociobiology has rarely been so entertaining. The Peases say that a woman's brain is wired to be able to speak and listen simultaneously, for example, and they are geared to talk through problems. Men, by contrast, need to clam up. "He uses his right brain to try to solve his problems or find solutions, and he stops using his left brain to listen or speak." These brain differences took shape in cave days, according to the authors. Men were hunters and defenders who evolved tunnel vision (as compared to women's vision), while, as nurturers, women not only had broad peripheral vision but sensitive relationship skills. Channel surfing and newspaper skimming are modern ways for a man to cut off from others to privately mull problems, advise the authors. "Remember, his forefathers spent more than a million years sitting expressionless on a rock surveying the horizon, so this comes naturally to him.... " Feisty and crystal clear, this controversial work will appeal to readers of both sexes. (May)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
Someday, there may be a book based on evolutionary psychology that lightheartedly attempts to explain the differences between men and women; this isn't it. Barbara, CEO of Pease Training International, which produces videos and seminars for businesses and governments, and Allan, a professional speaker, assert that the "politically correct" will lambaste their work, which is based on interviews with experts and seminars. Quite rightly so. While there is a need to publicize research on the evolutionary differences between men and women, there is absolutely no need to couch the research in offensive stereotypes while trying to be funny. For example, the authors use the tired clich? of a woman with PMS hurling cookware at her spouse to illustrate that testosterone equals spatial ability. They also allege that a "woman with a moustache is...much more likely to make a better engineer than one who looks like a Barbie doll." In addition, quite a few of the statistics are suspectAe.g., the authors allege that 110 percent of engineers are men. Public libraries should stick with Deborah Tannen's work and John Gray's Mars/Venus series.APam Matthews, Gettysburg Coll. Lib., PA
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Irreverant and insightful. And fun.
By Ken Wells
This book was refreshingly 'politically incorrect' with gender generalizations. The combination if their own 'toungue and cheek' narrative AND some emerging science of the brains was a real page turner.
The greatest reward was learning some things about how the brains work and why we look 'stupid' to each other by accident. However, the man's language part of thr brain and mind, simply isn't capable of keeping up with two people talking. We men get irritated trying, and we LOOK like we are simply being intollerant for no good reason while everyone else is having a great time.
Such as. Women are perfectly capapble of several people talking at once while having a great time.
64 of 72 people found the following review helpful.
An very interesting book.
By M. S Worthington
I've just read through all the reviews and I've noticed one thing. The people who don't like the book clearly haven't read it properly or got what the author is saying.
There was only one bad review I agreed with at all, and that was the gentleman who pointed out that, even though the book is written by a couple, the emphasis does seem a little more female oriented at times.
However, the majority of the bad reviews are entitled "I'm a woman and I can read maps" or such like. Please don't let this put you off buying the book. The authors state quite clearly in the opening chapters of the book that the information represents an overall picture and that the science is based on what is the case MOST of the time, not ALL of the time. They do tell you quite regularly that there are exceptions.
There is also a test early on in the book to show the probable levels of male hormone you received in the womb. I have done this test with a fair number of people now and it is amazingly accurate. I'm guessing that many of the negative reviews come from people who didn't bother to do this test, which would then make much of the book seem like nonsense.
As I have already said, and think needs saying again, this book is what is generally the case, not what is always the case. Taken in that light, and also taking into account that the authors also say at the start of the book that many will dismiss it on a number of reasons which they list (and every negative reviewer bar the one I agreed with comes somewhere on the list), it really doesn't pay to listen to the negative comments.
This book is not trying to enforce negative stereotypes. Far from it. This book suggests many ways in which certain character traits can be much better understood. For certain chapters where it explains things such as why men tend to sleep around more, it also clearly states that the authors do not believe this makes the behaviour more acceptable, and they actually state that "luckily" there are ways of changing in built natural behavior. I have just read one part of the book that actually says this out right, that the biological instict is not always the best thing to follow in a modern society.
Basically, the negative reviews are from people who had made up their mind before they had even read the book, or who did not want to believe what they saw.
My last point is to the reviewer who claimed that phrases such as "research now shows" mean nothing. There are plenty of facts that do state where the research comes from, and had every single fact been backed up by when, where and who did the reasearch, the book would probably be very hard to read (there would be references on every other line practically), and probably about twice the size!
Buy this book, read the first chapters carefully so you fully understand where the authors are coming from and what they are trying to achieve, and then enjoy the rest.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
A fun read - don't take it too seriously!
By David Rasquinha
As with any book that tries to explain the differences between men and women, this book is replete with generalizations. Once you accept that the statements made refer to probabilities that apply to the majority of subjects, but certainly not all persons, the various points start to add up. In the old genetics vs. environment debate, the Peases suggest that the hormones which govern our gender also define the pathways in which we perceive reality, pursue relationships and solve problems. Somewhat similar to the earlier 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", this is a useful look at human behavior that might just reduce the number of male-female battles! For all the authors' claimed research however, this is just a light hearted book that can be enjoyed with profit. Do not expect any scientific breakthroughs, but you can certainly get a better understanding of both your own behavior and the mysterious behavior of the opposite sex, (whichever that may be)! Just read it with an open mind and have fun - don't take it too seriously!
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